This part of the site is a little different; the majority of the site is pretty formal in nature--which is accurate, reflecting a significant aspect of my personality. But, this is the page where I get a little crazy and let you in on the real me. I'll also stick fun stuff in here from time to time that's just too darn silly, personal, or unprofessional for the rest of the site. So, venture forward if you dare, but I warn you--this ain't your typical author profile. ;o)

Atypical Author Profile
The Advice
Favorite Quotes
Favorite Commercials
Contact the Author

Pen Names/Handles
Lila Martin
Starsong
Penwarrior
Shine

Date of Birth
April 19, 1980

Major Faults
(Or, Things Never to Point Out to Me or Mention in My Hearing)

Nasty temper
Tendency to overdramatize everything
Slob. Big time. We're talking practically wallowing in my own filth here.
I get grouchy when you give me feedback I don't want to hear, don't believe you when you say something good, and get downright angry if you don't say anything at all!
Sarcasm...what sarcasm?
Unhealthy addiction to Coke (the soft drink, that is)
Rapid and unpredictable mood swings

Phobias & Neuroses

I have a scream-and-jump-on-a-chair fear of:
snakes
bugs
fire
people
humiliation/looking like an idiot
performing/speaking in public

I also have a deep and abiding fear of the telephone, as well as a constant worry that I may actually be insane...

Obsessions

perfection (this one comes and goes)
music (anything but oldies and really heavy metal)
drawing/art, particularly when inspired by/related to any of my material
doing everything possible to avoid looking foolish (er, why do I write again?)
fairness
cartoons
books, natch
finding what exactly I am supposed to do in this life
Oh yeah, and writing ;o)

Inspiration and Motivations
(or, What Makes Me Pick Up a Pen)

Strong emotions, particularly anger, fear, despair, love
Beliefs - to defend something I think is right or explore what I think is wrong
Justice, Fairness, and The Whole Truth - I almost consider it a challenge when only half the story is told--gives me the freedom to tell the other half as I see fit ;o)
Boredom (hey, let's face it, writing is the next best thing--or maybe the next better thing--to picking up a good book)
Lonliness - my characters are good at keeping me company
Revenge - hey, there's nothing as satisfying as killing off that creep in gym class and getting away with it ;o)
Communication
Working things through

Pet Peeves

People who believe Christian stereotypes
One-sided arguements
light/bright colors
drugs, drinking, excessive piercings, excessive/distasteful tattoos (yeah, I'm an old fashioned girl and proud of it)
People who get caught up in a part rather than considering the whole
Pro-choice lobbyists
editors
The phrase 'It was good, I liked it,' when not followed by some form of either 'but' or 'especially'
Not being asked/told that my works/characters/ideas are going to be used for something
BAD GRAMMAR

Best Ways to Suck Up to Me

Avoid everything listed under Pet Peeves
Do not mention anything listed under Major Faults
Review/Critique my work and send it to me (will be posted on editorial page and get you a link in the Contributions section)
Draw something related to my stories (my fav format is actually colored pencil over CG--art sent to me is posted under 'Illustrations' and gets you a link in the Contributions section)
Tell me WHAT exactly you liked or didn't like about a particular piece rather than just saying you liked or didn't like the piece

The Advice

Note: You're quite welcome to think I'm conceited for putting this up here, but hey, it's my page, and I'll do what I damn well please. ;o)

Find materials you're comfortable with. I always use a black Sanford uniball with a microfine tip when I write longhand. The inkflow is good but not a flood (a problem I had with fountain pens) so that the pen moves smoothly accross the paper, without scratching and without bleeding through. I usually use wide ruled spiral notebooks with hard covers of some kind (they last longer; I reccomend 5-Star brand). I don't like college rule because my handwriting is reasonably large and that's just more comfortable for me, and bound books are inconveniant when you're writing without a table. When I type my work I use Wordpad rather than Word, in ten-point Times New Roman. I just find it more visually appealing, for some reason. It doesn't have all that junk up on the top that Word does, just one simple toolbar, but it's not as rough or crude as Notepad. You should learn your preferences and stick to them (though every once in a while experimentation is nice--after all, there's always something better out there). And your preferences won't necessarily be my prefrences, so don't blame me if you go buy all these materials and hate them! The other advantage this stuff has though is that it's comparatively cheap. Basically, experiment till you find something that works for you. Writing is hard work--don't make it any more difficult!
Read authors whose style you find appealing, and pay attention to what you read! Take a writing course and apply what you learn there about editing to the stuff you read for fun. Be warned, though, you'll never read a novel the same again, there'll always be some part of you analyzing every bit, no matter how engaged in the story the rest of you is.
Pester people for feedback. Don't let go of them until they give it to you, in as much detail as possible. Don't scrimp on your reviews for others, either. Be thorough, complete, and honest, but PLEASE be sensitive too!!
Put some thought into how much you will project your morals onto your characters. Remember that no matter how like you they are, they AREN'T you, and there are always things they would do differently. This will affect the believability of your characters, so think it through carefully. However, your morals and beliefs should come first, so don't betray what you are morally convinced is right in order to cater to your audience. Which brings me to my next thought...
Consider your audience but don't cater to them. This is your work, and the best and best-selling works are often new and different.
Don't get discouraged if you don't get published the first or second or thirty-fifth time you send something in to a magazine or writing contest. It happens to everybody. ;oP

Have advice for others? E-mail me, and I may post it (depends on the opinion--remember, this is my personal page and I don't have to make it a forum for your opinions unless I want to--nyah nyah), either here or on the editorial page, I haven't decided which yet.

Favorite Quotes

From Movies:

"EMBRACE the suckiness!" Ben Stiller, Keeping the Faith

From TV:

From Books:

From Poems/Songs:

"'Tis with our judgements as our watches, none
Go just alike, yet each believes his own." Essay on Criticism, Alexander Pope

"There's nothing I'm convinced of more than my own insignificance/so why does everybody think my words can make a difference?" Politically Correct, SR71

"Tomorrow's another day/And I'm thirsty anyway/So bring on the rain" Bring on the Rain, Jo Dee Messina

From Intellectuals:

"Properly, we should read for power. Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book should be a ball of light in one's hand." Ezra Pound

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain

Misc.

Favorite Commercials

Radio:

The meter maid commercial for Bud Ice ("I am a Parking Control Officer. Call me a meter maid and I will TOW YOUR **beeeeeeeeeep**!!) If anyone has a wav/mp3/transcript of this, I'd love one.
The "Oooooo a mime" commercial for that job site

Television:

Snickers Commercials - I especially like the one (this is a bit old, but I loved it while it was playing) where they were throwing Canadians on the ice at the hockey game.
The dooby-dooby-doo penguin commercials
"Some trucks haul gluteous. maximus."

I'd make a list of my most hated commercials, but that would take too long...